Finding Words

It's been a tough for me to find words to describe how I'm feeling lately. I took last Monday off to be with my Dad while my Mom underwent surgery to remove some colon cancer. We've only known about this for a month or so, and really, it's been hard for me to process the whole thing.

In the midst of it all my friend Randy has been fighting stage 3 melanoma. He was there in the hospital room with us praying for Mom before she went in for her surgery and a little over 24 hours later he went in for his own surgery (his third in recent months).

Later that week my daughter Adia went to the ER with a 104.4 temp. I called my Dad that night and we had a good long chat. Even then it was hard to find the words or even to identify the emotions that I have been feeling.

All of this has weighed on me lately, and it's caused me to slow down a bit and think a lot about what life is all about... Or at least what I want my life to be all about. I have a renewed passion for my family. Maybe this seems weird but I smile more now. Tonight Logan was telling me something about his day as I was tucking him in to bed and I just looked at him and laughed. He is so funny. Austin always wants two hugs. He won't let me leave the house without coming back in for one more. At night he squeezes tight and often doesn't want to let go at all. He's got such a big heart. Adia's learning to communicate better. She's been doing sign language to say when she is hungry or when she's all done. I've been working more since school is nearly over (I always run out of material early) and Laura's been busy with Reprieve, bible study group, and spring softball, but the times we spend together are filled with good conversation. I'm trying hard not to take her for granted, as I have at times. I'm finding joy in the simple stuff like picking up toys, washing the dishes (thanks to my buddy Stu's influence), making dinner, and doing laundry.

To me, this all seems like a very strange response to the presence of cancer in my loved ones, but for now, I will take it... and hopefully I can find more words and more ways to soak up the life in every moment.

I'm so blessed.