Life Calling Workshop - Part 2

Had a great time at this workshop. In preparation I had to take a few assessment tests about personality and career, and the results were really interesting to me. I never know what to expect from those kinds of tests. It's probably somewhat questionable as to whether or not I've answered objectively or if I've projected my current experiences and feelings onto the test. There's no way to know... but here's what I found.

My top 14 career matches included teaching in one form or another 7 different times. Also within my top 20 were: family counselor, anthropologist, composer, psychologist, archaeologist, journalist, and sociologist.

One point Dr. Bence made in one of the sessions was about how we view career and vocation. The question was raised, "Is a call from God permanent." That is, does God call us to a "Career" or to specific tasks for specific times. A lot of biblical characters were used as examples and it created an interesting discussion.

I think a lot of guys in Youth Ministry struggle with this. Can we be called by God to a specific task of ministering to young people for a time. And can God call us out of that to another field of ministry or another career altogether (and is it ok if God does that?)?

A friend asked about my time at the workshop and I said that I learned I'm supposed to be a teacher. He responded by saying, "we already knew that." His comment made me stop and think about how much time I spend pondering what I should do with my life when there's already good evidence that I'm doing the right thing. I suppose it's just that perfectionist in me wanting to get it right and maximize my influence by playing to my strengths. I may never stop asking myself if I'm being who God wants me to be and doing what He wants me to do, but maybe that's not a bad thing either.

Jesus Camp - the documentary

I can't remember where I first heard about the film, Jesus Camp, but I was recently listening to the Youthfront podcast (listen to the episode) where Mike King interviewed one of the directors of this documentary, and I got really curious. Then last Friday I was having coffee with my friend Dave and he mentioned it, and I remembered that I wanted to see it.

So, every Wednesday I get together with a group of guys who are in their early twenties. We had already planned to drive up to East Lansing this week and grab some pitas at Pita Pit (pretty amazing stuff if you haven't experienced it). Long story short, one of them had just gotten a new car that has a DVD player built in. We all piled in and watched 1/2 on the way there and 1/2 on the way back.

We didn't have much time to process it all together. It definitely made me think quite a bit. I found myself constantly fighting mixed feelings about what I was seeing. Some good, some very negative. The kids seemed so mature in their perspective. The emotions depicted in the film seem very deep and genuine. I was nearly in tears at one point as I watched a young girl weeping and praying at the alter. I work at a Christian school and at a church and I don't often see kids who have the kind of dedication, faith, and brokenness that some of those kids seemed to display. But, I was frustrated by something that I can't yet put my finger on.

Maybe I was frustrated by the political side, the cardboard cutout of George W. Bush, the railing against abortion, the power-point slides with "sin leads to death" in red dripping-blood font? Or was it the way Ted Haggard spoke with Levi, one of the key kids in the documentary? Maybe it was the fact that I've had some experiences that looked a lot like what I was seeing? Maybe it was because I know of camps that don't use the negative methods and i was worried all "Jesus Camps" were being labeled as right wing political brainwashing compounds? I don't know, but i am unsettled after seeing it.

Presence Centered Youth Ministry: Guiding Students Into Spiritual Formation

This was my latest read and I had a really cool opportunity to process this book via e-mail with the author. I met Mike King in passing a few years back at a YS convention and have just gotten to know him a little bit over the past few weeks of our interaction.
This was an important read for me because presence-centered ministry has become our #1 priority in student journey at Westwinds. On top of that, books like The Godbearing Life by Kenda Dean and Ron Foster and Contemplative Youth Ministry by Mark Yaconelli have already been shaping my thoughts and my approach to youth ministry and even more importantly my own spirituality.
One of the greatest parts of this book is that Mike not only talks about a different mindset for youth ministry but he also provides a guide to meaningful practices that help us continue down the road of personal spiritual formation.
Mike has posted on his blog a copy of my reflections on the book, so I won't post all of them here. Check it out if you want to read how I processed each chapter.

Ignatian Examen for the week

Last night at our student gathering we combined the Jr. & Sr. high groups. We occasionally do this for a change of pace. Since we were together ben taught and I was able to lead the students through an Ignatian Examen exercise. Below is a transcript of the exercise.

Westwinds Student Journey – 03/04/07

A guide to Ignatian Examen

We believe God is constantly revealing himself to us in our experience. But noticing God’s presence in our lives is something that we can easily overlook, though it’s not hard to see when we slow down and allow space for God to show us.

Examen of the Week

1. Stillness: Take time to settle and feel relaxed.

Psalm 37:7 (NLT)

Be still in the presence of the Lord,

and wait patiently for him to act.

2. Light-Seeking: When you are ready to begin, ask God to help you to see and to understand how His love has been working within you over the last week. Ask God's spirit to enlighten and guide your thoughts.

3. Reflection: Begin to let yourself remember the last week... Recall those times when you were aware of being thankful (this could be for simple things like a walk or coffee with a friend). Notice what was life-giving or creative, where you felt there was a flow, an ease of being or an openness of heart towards others, even in difficult situations.

Don't try too hard... let come what comes at first when you ask these questions:

• When did I feel best able to give and receive love?
• What caused in me an increase in faith, hope and love?
• Where was I drawn to God?
• In fears, in joy, in pain, in creativity?
• In prayer, scripture, creation?
• In work or leisure?
• In family, friend, church, neighbor?
• Did I feel myself being nudged or prompted in any particular way?
• Out of all the week’s experiences, is there one experience, that I feel most grateful for?

Rest in these moments…
Give thanks.

Psalm 117:2 (NLT)

For he loves us with unfailing love;

the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.

Praise the Lord!

4. Sorrow and Regret: Look again back over the week asking these questions…

• When were you aware of God's absence?
• When did you feel least able to give or receive love?
• What caused in you a decrease in faith, hope and love?
• When did you fail to respond to His love at work in you?
• Without harsh judgment, just let yourself look at that experience.
• In the light of God's love - what would you like to say to God about that time, event, experience?

Psalm 51:1-2 (NLT)

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. [2] Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.

What does God want to say to you?

Psalm 51:17 (NLT)

The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit.

A broken and repentant heart, O God,

you will not despise.

Hope for the Future: And now, coming back into the present:

• What insight, revelation, or grace did you receive from the experiences of the last week?
• Having reviewed the last week - What would you like to bring into this week?
• Find a word or a phrase or an image to represent what you'd like to bring into the New Week...
• Write that word, phrase, or image on the small paper you have.
• Keep that word or phrase or image in your heart over the next week.

Psalm 107:1 (NLT)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.

Ask God for the grace to move into this new week with love, faith and hope... for the grace to bring more of what gives us life... for the grace to continue to recognize God in our daily life...

Additional Resources:
the Jesuites
more on ignatian prayer

Sources:
Grace Community Church, UK
Fresh Worship

Reflections from a mirror

On Sunday I asked the Jr. high kids at Westwinds to go through a nine station experience geared toward deepening their commitment God and to maintaining God centered relationships. Students progressed through the stations in groups of four and I wandered through the room, helping kids stay focused and encouraging them to take the whole thing seriously. By the end of the night I had mixed feelings about how things went. Some of the kids horded the shoestring licorice at the friendships station and that left others without that experience. Others seemed unable to engage in the whole process. And a few looked as though they really got it.

The first station required students to write on a mirror things about themselves that others don't know. As I carried the mirrors back to the office later that night, I glanced and saw "I like llamas." I was frustrated and proceeded to vent to ben about how we take all this time to set these things up for kids and they just can't engage. So he asked me, "What did they write?". I turned toward the mirrors and started reading expecting lot's more llama comments. Here's what the kids had written in response to the question, "What is something people don't know about you?"...

• I have a lot of crazy things going on in my life I don’t tell people about them I try to act like nothing is wrong because I don’t like people feeling sorry/looking down on me.
• I am tall and I love cherries.
• I cut my wrists/arm.
• My sense of humor.
• My brain.
• I have huge enormous super fat cats.
• State is #1
• I hate my brother; no seriously, I really hate him.
• I love someone special.
• Most people don’t see my secret toilet.
• Most people don’t know I love someone.
• Most people don’t know that I like to sing.
• I praise God by playing sports.
• I keep a book of my deepest prayers.
• My legs.
• My math skills (8=D)
• Michigan rocks!
• I am… I am mentally strong.
• Go Spartans!
• Things aren’t too great lately.
• Life sucks. I blame God.
• I have nothing positive to say about myself.
• I like pie.
• I miss my brother and I miss how life used to be.
• God is good.
• I like cheese.
• I get scared and hurt a lot but I’m fearless.
• The tattoo on my back
• Some of my friend relationships and my relationship with my sister really upset me.
• No one understands me.
• Spartans rule
• I’m bald.
• I’m sad and depressed.
• I slit my wrists.

After reading the mirrors my perspective changed, and I was reminded of why I do what I do . These were the thoughts of the squirrelly kids who couldn't focus. Sure some of them are silly, but they're 6-8th graders, what did I expect? They are going 100 mph, and carrying all of this stuff around with them. It's an incredibly awkward time in life and they are trying to figure it all out in a culture that is feeding them all the wrong info.

I intersect with this group of kids for about 2 hours every week. I had to ask myself... How am I helping them? and... how can I do more?

A New Kind Of Youth Ministry

I borrowed this book from ben a few weeks ago and finally finished the other day. It took me a few days to process the things that stood out the most to me. I think the number one issue that chris raised was the idea that in educating teens we must be inviting them into a process, not a turning them into a product. This includes being realistic about what we are expecting. Here's how he says it...

"A youth ministry focused on product [as opposed to process] seeks to equip teenagers with all the answers for a life in the way of Jesus. How ridiculous is it for our churches and leaders to think that any person in their adolescent years can be made a fully devoted follower of Jesus? Equally ridiculous is the effort to think that any of us, regardless of age, can be made into fully devoted followers of Jesus. What would it be like if churches - or more specifically youth ministries - sought to invite students into a developing process of following Jesus? I contend that we would have more people who are continually seeking to live, love, and lead like Jesus." - p.125 (brackets mine)

A second idea that really stood out to me was his chapter on reculturing mission. Here are a few quotes from that section.

• Missional living is not about what one does on the occasional trip to a far-off place. It is a way of living at home, at school, and in our everyday lives – wherever God places us…
• Missional living means followers of Jesus are to live as active ‘missionaries’ among all with whom we may interact throughout the journey of life…
• Missional living means living incarnationally…
• Missional living is about a Spirit-filled engagement with the life unfolding around us, joining God in what he is already doing rather than what he might use us to do…
• The key to missional living is to love more profoundly and more deeply, it is not having a mission, but being God’s mission.”

Missional living begins by…

1. Consistently being Jesus in the mundane, easy, and ordinary context of their lives, not just in those infrequent and extraordinary moments of life. (p.97)

2. Recognizing that we are not spectators of God’s creation we are participants and that means we have responsibilities. (p. 95)

3. Knowing that a specific practical skill-set is not required. We are all created to be agents of restoration. (p.96)

Extracted and adapted from “A New Kind of Youth Ministry” – Chris Folmsbee

Creating Community?

Over the years I’ve heard, seen, and practiced a number of different approaches to creating community in youth ministries. Does any of this sound familiar?

“You’ll probably have trouble attracting and keeping students without a marketable identity.”

“Since you’re in an inner city, develop a skate park – that’s what kids are into these days.”

“An online presence is a sure bridge to connecting with this ‘net generation.”

“Make it a point to start your programs with mixers that get kids talking to people outside their normal cliques.”

“Host a lock-in at the beginning of the year with plenty of trust-building activities.”

I’m not sure this youth ministry “conventional wisdom” is all we’ve made it out to be. Though these programming methods might provide some degree of helpfulness in creating a group identity, they don’t actually form community. True community doesn’t rise out of a scientifically contrived, contextually relevant ministry. True community develops out of true relationships in the everyday real world.

Every time we try to contextualize a program we strip away its authenticity. Don’t get me wrong; studying the culture we live in is vitally important, but our study shouldn’t simply be a means to contextualize our programs. When we do that we often make inappropriate assumptions about where students’ needs lie. Sometimes in our effort to be relevant we end up profiling our kids and, as a result, alienating them because they hate to be profiled.

Let’s take the skate park as an example. If you’ve got a passion for skaters, don’t just build a skate ramp in your backyard hoping they’ll all come to your place. Instead, go to the places where they already skate. There you’ll find a community already thriving – your challenge will be to realize how God can use you to be a vital part of that community.

Fitting into existing communities is no small task. I asked 14 of my student leaders to tell me what youth workers should do to foster true relationships in the everyday real world. Here’s what they said:

“See kids as more than just your job.”

“Be your authentic self – don’t try too hard.”

“Don’t encourage an immature lifestyle by simply doing what kids do.”

“Help kids see their potential, identify their own weaknesses, and set them up to succeed.”

“Learn from students and tell them what you’re learning.”

“Be transparent and don’t just have an answer for everything.”

“Care, care, care, care.”

“Show respect.”

“Be a person of vision and character, the kind of person kids don’t see elsewhere.”

“Remember that it takes time.”

A number of these ideas have been the backbone of my ministry with the very students who suggested them. I’d add one more quote: “We can’t build true relationships with our eyes on the masses.” Students have a knack for seeing through our marketing, profiling, and group contextualization. When I study the life of Christ I continually see him retreating from the crowds in order to strengthen relationships with a few through everyday activities – talking, walking, praying, and eating. Yes, it’s that good old-fashioned relational ministry mindset – but minus the hidden agenda to boost the popularity of our program.

- Originally published in July/August 2005 issue of YouthWorker Journal, copyright 2005

What do you want?

I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe that's why "What do you want?" was the perfect question. I spent this weekend at a camp with four friends. Maybe I was expecting more people to be there, but it didn't really matter. In fact, I think the fact that there were only five of us made it especially unique. We did our best to practice the Daily Offices on both days. It's all rather new to me though. Not the spirituality part but the stucture of it all. Part of the cool thing about it was that even if we didn't do it "right" it still seemed like something was right about it. All we were trying to do is listen anyway and I suppose as long as you truly listen you can't get that wrong.
I think I liked the Sacred Reading the most. We read John 1:35-39. That's when He said "What do you want?" I suppose it doesn't sound like a tough question, but for some reason I didn't know how to answer. Maybe because I realized who I was talking to and I knew that nothing was beyond the realm of possibility. At first I was frustrated because I couldn't answer, then it hit me that I was just supposed to listen. Since that conversation (if you want to call it that) I've spent some time pondering the question. I think my answer is "To know Christ". Now, that answer begs it's own question. What does it mean to know?
Next was "Look." Now if there ever was a sentance that was brief yet still ambiguous, this is the one. Look. At what? For what? I was frustrated with the statement "Look." But, it didn't take long to come to some conclusions . John's disciples were looking at him and John was there to redirect their attention to the One for which they were truly looking, who just so happend to be walking by. My son asks me to look, and really, the only time it get's annoying is when I am focused on something else, something I think is more important than what he's trying to show me. When somebody says "look" it means your not looking where they want you to look. But the good news is you're usually close enough to see what they want you to look at. So, I've been trying to look these past few days.