One Question

Last week I stood before a group of 30 high school seniors and told them that I'd been thinking a lot about what my role is in their lives. I talked a little about calling and my desire to be live out my calling, but also shared with them my desire to know what it is they want. I told the story of the contemplative retreat I led last winter where we focused on John 1:35-39 where Jesus asks two of John's disciples, "What do you want?" Then I just asked the students that same question.

It was quiet for about 10 minutes. Many sat and stared at the blank page at first, then they started writing. I collected the papers and read them over about an hour later. I can't stop thinking about some of the things they wrote. Here are a few quotes...

* "I want to know without a doubt that I have friends and I have support."
* "I need to know what God wants me to do with my life."
* "I want to go to college and exceed expecations cause nobody expects anything out of me."
* "I want to know someone is praying for me."
* "I want to impact people not jsut live an ordinary life of going to college."
* "I want to know why God is making my life so hard."
* "I want to become very close to God and be able to quiet myself and hear wht he has to say."
* "If there are any ways to develop an interest in reading scripture in an interested and effective manner I would be very pleased."

And the one that is killing me...

* "I want to be able to hear the voice of God... I can't hear God. At least Abraham got to talk with God. At least moses got to see God. But what's to be said for the one who talks to the ceiling every night, gets no reply, and yet still believes? I just want to know what I am doing wrong. I need answers."

When I hear stuff like this I am reminded of my deep inner desire to help kids. I don't just want to hand out answers and fix all of this stuff for them. I want to learn how to be with them in these questions. I want to live the answers, not tell them. I want to show these students that they are loved even if they get all the answers wrong.

Lord, help me to be present with you in each moment and in each interaction with these kids. And let me be present with them, hearing their cries, seeing their hearts, and loving them fully.