Introduction: Some of my classmates and I defined spiritual formation as an intentional journey of being formed by God into the image of Jesus – with others and for others. Since developing that definition we have explored the discipline of contemplative prayer and theorized about what bridges need to be crossed over various chasms that separate contemplation and action in the formation journey. Five bridges create the framework for understanding this project.
Brief Overview: my project included two phases –
· Phase 1 was an experiment in giving.
· Phase 2 was a hands on / relational element at a downtown ministry house.
The story:
The
I have spent a lot of time the last few months thinking about the idea of giving. Sermons, readings, and experiences have sufficiently made me aware that I'm no good at it. I don't like to give away anything. When I get around generous people I always think to myself, "I wish I was more like that." God has been gentle but unrelenting in the conviction process.
I was at my usual midweek gathering with my friends and as we walked through the campus of
Our discussion spawned this thought: What if every time you bought yourself something, you also bought an extra one and gave it away? At first it seemed simple enough. The concept would keep us from buying lots of unnecessary things and hold us accountable to care for those around us in need as much as we care for ourselves. In a small way it would bring a sense of equality to our relationships which Ronald Rolheiser, author of The Holy Longing, points out as a key area of Justice.
Surely the key to true compassion and justice is not found in throwing money at a situation. However, it seems that monetary giving can serve as a starting point, and that's what I felt like I needed this week – a starting point. I needed integrity. I needed to begin bringing my life in line with what I believe. I'll be quick to say that everything we have is Gods, but I'm usually the last one to put my money in the hat.
I decided to start small. I made a point to do two things.
· First, buy two and give one away.
· Second, pray for guidance.
It started with a gift card to a coffee shop.
Case #1: I went down to the local coffee house and grabbed my favorite beverage and a $5 gift card for someone else. I must have looked at everyone that came into that store while I sat there studying. Each time thinking, "God, is that the one who you want to bless?" I quickly realized that I would need to tune my ears closely to the voice of God in order to live this way. That card was burning a hole in my pocket all day. I ended up at the park that evening and I passed the card to the young man as he walked by. He was thoroughly confused as to why I would do something like that for him.
The Bridge of Ceaseless Prayer
I quickly became excited about how arming myself with a gift transformed my prayers and how I looked differently at everyone around me. Everyone became a potential target for blessing, and suddenly my relationship with God became essential to every interaction.
Case #2: I needed gas for the mini-van. I watched hesitantly as the numbers rolled by faster than I could count. I stopped at $25. The van wasn't full but I knew that I had to have enough money to buy someone else a $25 gas card. I drove down the highway actually praying that I would run across someone who was broke down or out of gas. (Usually I'm praying that someone else will stop and help those poor people on the side of the road, because God would understand that I am on my way to youth group). I was late but was so anxious for God to put someone in my path that needed assistance. That card remained in my pocket for 24 hours. I ended up passing this along to a young pastor I was chatting with who is planting a church in our town and needs to raise $45,000 this year. I handed it to him knowing it wouldn't make a dent in that number but hoping that it would encourage him that God's answer to his prayers could be provided, even in the strangest of ways.
Case #3: I needed to buy diapers for my daughter. I bought two packages. I came home wondering who in the world would need these extra diapers, but I was ready to meet a need. The next day I kept thinking about the diapers and started asking God to show me someone who could use these diapers. I finally just got in my car and started driving around looking for someone who needed diapers (I'm pretty sure I've never done that before). I drove to a place here in town that is a transitional house for teenage girls who have had babies. It looked empty. I drove around the block and then pulled in the parking lot. I sat in the car and just prayed that someone might be there that needed the diapers. I got out and walked up the steps and before I reached the top a woman greeted me at the door. I asked her if they needed size 4 diapers and she said, "yes." I introduced myself to her but didn't explain what I was up to. Her name was Tamarah. I'm on their mailing list now. I never would have been had I not been looking for someone who needed diapers. I made a new connection with the community. (A reasonably large step for an introvert.) But I knew there was more to all of this…
The
Looking back I wish I had gotten to speak with each of these people more. I wish I knew more about where they were living and what they needed. The gifts didn't feel like justice, and maybe they weren't even compassion, but giving them was an opportunity for me to connect with the community and simply do my part in making things more fair. At this point I was reminded of the importance of community in spiritual formation, the "with others for others" part. So I determined to make that part of the experiment.
Case #4: I was hungry for more connections. I was beginning to see community as a key to this whole process. I wanted to meet some people that would give a name and a face to struggles in this town. I called my friend, Wendy, who runs a house downtown called Together We Can Make A Difference.
I got there just before lunch. There was a small group of people seated in the dining room around the table. Before I could do anything I was being served. Wendy shared a quick story about a cow being donated and needing a butcher to offer his "services". Then she prayed, and after prayer she said, "I'll turn my phone on now." (expecting that a butcher may call at any moment). We ate soup while Wendy read the daily scripture chapters (they are reading through the Bible in a year). Afterwards I sat and talked with the people. I tried not to be busy or act like I was going to come in there one afternoon and be the savior for the day. I just wanted to meet these people.
Carol was my favorite. She should have died twice. She told me the amazing stories behind each incident and how she saw God at work, rescuing and restoring her. Now she spends as much of her time as she can giving herself to others. Since August she has made 426 blankets to be given away. Did I mention she had a stroke and can't move her right arm? She owns an orchard and on a bad harvest year she recalled praying, "God, just give me enough to share." I was blown away.
Time doesn't permit me to speak of Ray, Steve, Dennis, Shaw, and the others whose names I can't recall.
The
Just being around Wendy can get you excited about what God is doing. There are so many answered prayers in that house. Foster says that the ecstatic gifts often help us see that God is present and active among peoples and situations we have written off as hopeless. (Streams of Living Water, Foster, p.127) I felt as though I understood that principle at a new level after my time at the house. I was humbled and hopeful.
I went from there down the street to see author and revolutionary Shane Claiborne speak. I was again humbled by his radical willingness to get involved in the lives of people in need. People kept asking things like how he got started and what a typical day looks like for him. His responses were simple and profound. Here are a few quotes I jotted down:
· "We can't be in love with the vision of changing the world, we must be in love with the people."
· "Everybody wants a revolution but nobody wants to do the dishes."
· "We cannot fully recover unless we also help the society that made us sick recover."
· I feel this last quote really sums up the essence of social justice.
The
I know that giving things away does not address social justice on a grand scale, but here is how I see the connection. This experiment changed everything about my day. I was constantly consumed with thoughts of those around me and how what I had could be a blessing to them. Rolheiser states that when we pray we are not only petitioning God to act, but "we are also charging ourselves, as part of the Body of Christ, with some responsibility for answering the prayer." (The Holy Longing, p.83) We could see a need and then pray that God would meet that need OR we could prepare ourselves to meet a need and then ask God to open our eyes. That's what I experienced. I noticed myself praying all the time. And these prayers were not prayers that God would meet a need but that He would show me someone with a need that I was already prepared to meet. If I had noting in my pockets then I chose to offer myself – my eyes, ears, hands, and words. Ultimately the experiment changed me. And if I now treat people more justly then I suppose social justice has been accomplished, even if on the smallest scale.
Try the project yourself, and tell me what happens to you and through you!
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